Question
Does a Husband’s calling his Wife ‘Sister’ invalidate their marriage?
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الجواب بعون الملك الوهاب اللهم هداية الحق والصواب
Answer
A husband’s calling his wife “Mother,” “Sister,” or “Daughter,” or saying, “You are my Mother/Sister.” is Haram and sinful, and he must repent for it. However, this does not constitute divorce (Talaq) or Dhihar because the actual words used to establish resemblance are not being used here, and neither are these words used figuratively for divorce. Rather, it is merely a false statement from him for which he is sinful.
Note: If he says, “You are like my Mother” or “like my Sister,” implying resemblance to his mother or sister, then the rules of Dhihar or divorce may apply, the details of which can be found in other Fatawa and Fiqh books.
In Sunan Abu Dawood, it is mentioned:
“أن رجلا قال لامرأته، یا أخية، فقال رسول اللہ صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم: أختک هي، فکره ذلک و نهى عنه”
Translation: A man called his wife, ‘O my sister,’ so the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) said: ‘Is she your sister?’ He disliked it and forbade it.
(Sunan Abu Dawood, Book of Divorce, Vol. 1, Pg. 319, Hadith: 2210, Lahore)
In Radd al-Muhtar, Allamah Ibn Abidin Shami رحمة الله عليه writes:
قوله لزوجته: يا أختي مکروه وفيه حدیث رواه أبو داود “أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم سمع رجلا يقول لامرأته: يا أختي فكره ذلک ونهاه عنه۔
(Radd al-Muhtar, Vol. 5, Pg. 133, Quetta)
Ala Hazrat Imam Ahmad Rida Khan عليه الرحمة writes in Fatawa Ridawiyyah:
“Calling one’s Wife ‘Mother’ or ‘Sister,’ whether by addressing her as ‘Mother’ or ‘Sister,’ or saying ‘you are my Mother/Sister,’ is a severe sin and forbidden. However, it does not affect the marriage, nor is anything required other than repentance.”
(Summary from Fatawa Ridawiyyah, Vol. 13, Pg. 280, Raza Foundation, Lahore)
Ala Hazrat Imam Ahmad Rida Khan عليه الرحمة states:
“Calling one’s Wife ‘Mother’ or ‘Sister’ does not make her literally his Mother or Sister, nor does it make intimacy with her impermissible. However, it is a reprehensible act because he needlessly has expressed a permissible and lawful relationship with the name of a forbidden relationship, as Allah Almighty has said:
‘وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَقُولُونَ مُنْكَرًا مِنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُورًا’
Translation: ‘And indeed, they say a word most vile and false.'”
(Fatawa Ridawiyyah, Vol. 17, Pg. 312-313, Raza Foundation, Lahore)
Answered by: Mufti Sajid Attari
Translated answer
Date: 14th July 2024