[Q 402] Rulings on interaction Between Future Spouses

QUESTION:

What is the ruling on two people’s or cousins getting married and family’s agreeing they can get married in the future, are both of them allowed to stay in contact, for the male and female to get to know each other more?

ANSWER:

بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الجواب بعون الملک الوھاب اللھم ھدایة الحق والصواب

If one intends to marry a woman, then before sending a proposal, it is permissible to look at her through some permissible excuse or by having a trustworthy woman show her, and likewise, it is also permissible for the girl to see the boy. In doing this, both must have the intention of following the Sunnah, because it is mentioned in the Hadith that:
“Look at the one you intend to marry, for this helps in fostering love.”
However, it must be kept in mind that they should not be alone together, as both are non-Mahram (strangers to each other) before Nikah, and Khalwah (seclusion) between a non-Mahram man and woman is Haram. It is also necessary that the woman is fully veiled, and only her face and hands may be seen; other parts such as hair, wrists, ears, neck, etc., are parts of Satr (area which must be veiled in front of non-Mahrams) and must not be visible. Looking at these parts is Haram, and it is also Haram for a woman to appear before the man without covering these parts.

When Khalwah (seclusion) with that woman is already Haram, then meeting informally, going out together, touching, having unnecessary conversations on the phone — all of these are Haram upon Haram, satanic deeds, and outright sins. These are practices of Western culture and shamelessness of non-Muslims, for which there is absolutely no place in Islam.

In the Holy Qur’an, Allah Almighty says:

“قُلْ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ یَغُضُّوْا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَیَحْفَظُوْا فُرُوْجَهُمْ ذٰلِكَ أَزْكٰى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللّٰهَ خَبِیْرٌۢ بِمَا یَصْنَعُوْنَ ﴿٣٠﴾ وَقُلْ لِّلْمُؤْمِنٰتِ یَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَیَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوْجَهُنَّ وَلَا یُبْدِیْنَ زِیْنَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْیَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلٰى جُیُوْبِهِنَّ”

Translation (Kanz-ul-Irfan): “Command the Muslim men to lower their gaze and protect their concealed parts. This is purer for them—Allah is aware of their deeds. Command the Muslim women to lower their gaze, and protect their chastity, and to not reveal their adornment except that which is apparent itself, and they should draw their headscarves over their chests.

(Parah 18, Surah An-Noor, Ayah 30–31)

Sayyiduna Umar Farooq رضي الله تعالى عنه narrates that the Noble Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم said:

“ألا لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا كان ثالثهما الشيطان”
“No man is alone with a woman except that the third among them is Shaytan.”

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Vol. 1, p. 221, Karachi Print)

In Az-Zawajir ‘an Iqtiraf al-Kaba’ir, a Hadith states:

“إياكم والدخول على النساء”
“Beware of entering upon women.”

(Az-Zawajir, Vol. 2, p. 4, Beirut Print)

In Durr al-Mukhtar referencing Ashbah, it is stated:

“الخلوة بالأجنبية حرام”
“Seclusion with a non-Mahram woman is Haram.”

(Durr al-Mukhtar with Radd al-Muhtar, Vol. 9, p. 607, Peshawar Print)

Answered by: Usman Madani (Ask Mufti scholar)
Translation checked by Muhammad Aqib Attari
Date: 4th May 2025